THAT ROAD GOES BOTH WAYS
Friday reflection on discernment, boundaries, and not swallowing scraps of attention.
It’s always the same ones doing the checking in, the calling, the loving, the holding. Always the same hands pouring into cups that never tilt back toward them. And the excuse people hide behind? “Well… if they wanted to talk to me, they would call.”
But by that logic, shouldn’t it work both ways? If someone truly wanted to hear from you, wouldn’t they have reached out by now? Silence reveals as much as words ever could.
The truth is, it’s not just about phone calls. It’s about expectations. People set themselves up for heartbreak when they expect others to give what they’ve never been willing or able to give. And yet, it makes sense why someone would stop reaching. When the effort is always one-sided, the weight becomes too heavy to carry.
And here’s the harder truth: the proof doesn’t just expose them. It exposes us. It shows that healing is needed. It shows we keep searching in the wrong places, the wrong people, the wrong things. It shows we are willing to sacrifice pieces of our sanity for pieces of attention.
But that attention?
It isn’t consistent. It isn’t considerate. Too often, it’s performative, and only showing up to leech energy. Better to starve than to keep swallowing scraps. Better to sit at an empty table than choke down crumbs and pretend it’s a meal.
Do you not deserve to eat good?
I read this today: “I’m not about to argue with you. If you told me you fell asleep on Friday, and woke up on Monday, then I would believe you.” Because the truth is, we all go through things. Trials. Tribulations. Heartbreaks. Depression. Isolation. But at our young and tender ages, do we not already know the people in our lives and how they handle those things? How we, ourselves, handle things? Or are we just making excuses for their habitual disregard?
Discernment is a beautiful thing.
Choosing peace over guilt.
Choosing self-preservation over self-betrayal.
Separating from dead things because they cannot follow you where you are growing and going.
The proof is always there, sitting in the pudding. In plain site. We just don’t want to taste it, don’t want to swallow what it says about who truly cares and who doesn’t. And the fact that so many of us still eat it anyway…that says just as much about us as it does about them.
At the end of the day, we know who is truly down for us and who is just along for the ride. Stop giving those people an all-access pass. Revoke their clearance. Stop making excuses and rationalizing why it is ok to be an afterthought. Stop swallowing shit that somebody else put on your plate. You don’t have to eat it.
When people show you who they are and how they handle life’s storms, believe them. And act accordingly.
Remember,reciprocity requires a symbiotic bond.
Feed who feeds you.